Team Bios

Golden Retriever laying down.

Scarlett Begonia aka Bo Barlett aka Pretty Town is our Team Leader and our Greeter. She runs a tight ship and keeps the entire team in line, pigs and donkey included. She is highly respected among her crew, if not somewhat feared. Scarlet is enthusiastic in her duties as greeter, even when her assistance is not needed (or wanted). She has developed the remarkable attribute of a horrid smell, which is made possible by another area in which she excels, getting into the pond and retrieving turtles. She has also developed the amazing ability to empty the trash can, piece by piece. She is independent and irreverent but requires a certain amount of devoted adoration from her fellow home dwellers, regardless of her odor or the moisture level of her coat. She has a highly developed intellect and has learned English as a second language; although, she refuses to acknowledge most words unless they serve her will. Scarlett is "model gorgeous" and knows it. Whether catching turtles or catching rays, which are her two favorite things to do on the farm, she exudes sophistication. She also enjoys gathering clothes she finds on the floor, which is an integral part of operations at Freedom Farm. She is an efficient and effective team leader.

   

        
Lazy Lightning Hopkins aka Lightnin' is the Handsomest Boy in Town. His duties include sleeping, running like lightning along the fence line, sleeping and sleeping. He is also the team lead on letting Henry, the Blue Heron know he is not welcome past the bank of the pond. He excels at owning the dog bed and is an interior fixture that is mobile on his terms. His terms include going outside only when it is necessary, or when there are pigs, equines, or wild critters in his yard. He shines at chasing the outdoor team; although, his role was originally intended as the team protector. His re-development of his position works well to protect the indoor crew though, which he does with stoic ferocity, as evidenced by his tireless clearing of their workspace through his wind-like pursuit of all others on 4 legs. Due to this exceptional ability, the exterior squad is not a fan, but it makes him a favorite among the rest of the staff and visitors, alike. A quiet boy, his puppy dog eyes are enough to melt an ice cap. His favorite things to do on the farm are sleep, wrestle with Louie, dig for moles and sleep. He is the sweetest, most precious  boy we know.

   

Louie aka Lou Dog aka Lulu aka Louis aka Cookie aka Cute Stuff aka Lucifer is our Resident Goofball. He was rescued as a puppy from the mean streets of Troup, TX. Louie has a knack for sleeping on his back and in strange positions. Built like a tank, he is tough as nails and can take a full-speed knock down from Lightnin’ and get right back up for more. As akin to a blimp as his body is, he can still jump four feet from the ground to the porch with ease when it is time to go inside. He believes stairs are for wimps. His zest for life is contagious; although, he is not liked by all (hence, the name Lucifer dubbed by his worst enemy, Farmer Wil). He is exceptional at annoyance both to humans and dogs. He adores his buddy, Lightnin’ and exhibits uncanny disregard for Lightnin’s size and admonitions when this skill of annoyance reaches a peak. He looks up to his boss, Scarlett, with utmost esteem, but his best friend is Ruca. His favorite thing to do is groom her, leaving her with a remarkable mohawk of wet fur that rivals the skill of any Sassoon stylist. He is also the best Carrier of All Things in the Mouth that the farm has. When he is not in an awkward sleeping posture, he can usually be found outside with a huge log in his mouth, or any number of random objects excavated from the earth around his home or scavenged from various areas of the farm. He is not the brightest bulb on the farm.

        

Ruca aka Kitty, Kitty, Kitty aka the Daughter's Cat came to us as a handful of fur scooped up from the harsh parking lot of our community center. As soon as her eyes opened, she became the director of our Feedback Department. She is well-versed and thorough with reporting of her own opinion, while she doesn't seem interested in others' viewpoints. Her claw work is unmatched, as are her nightly snuggles. She is highly skilled at taking up several square feet of real estate in the bed and she can sit in a sink (or other non-cat intended object) like no other. Her favorite areas of the farm are outside, OUTSIDE, OUTSIDE (or else), and she enjoys hiding in her personal oak tree when it is time to come inside. She exhibits unusual tolerance for her friend, Louie, but her proficient claw work serves her well when she is done allowing him to worship her. She gives occasional nods to the boss, Scarlett, and allows Lightnin’ an intermittent sniff, but her autonomous work ethic is her modus operandi. Although she prefers her sovereignty, she is not fond of total seclusion from the others, so she allows the peripheral existence of the outdoor team as long as they keep their distance from her. Her most highly honed skill, and probably her favorite thing to do, is claw at the only very expensive piece of furniture in her dwelling. She has made it her masterpiece of exceedingly high value (in her opinion), while rendering it worthless to the world revolving around her. She does believe she is the sun of the farm.

      

Kingsley, the Majestic Mini Horse came to the farm from a local rescue farm. He is our most confident member on staff. No one, not even the boss, can tell him what to do. He believes he is the smartest living being on the entire farm (and he might be). His role is Grass and Weed Manager. His non-stop dedication to grazing is unrivaled. Even the goats can’t keep up with his stamina for meadow management. When he is not tending his pasture, he is running all others off the feed buckets or frolicking with his buddy, Jacob, the Donkey. His assertive prominence earned him the title of “Majestic Mini Horse” as he is often found standing alone, with the breeze blowing his astoundingly full afro of a forelock, in a display of his self-generated majesty. No one and nothing troubles him as he roams the land, meticulously eating all the succulent foliage he can find; although, Jacob does his best to engage him in the art of Extreme Equine Martial Arts. On cool mornings, Kingsley is keen to oblige Jacob in several laps around the farm and hours of horseplay, showing off his rearing abilities and the knack for precision biting. A human favorite, Kingsley is a one-of-a-kind guy.

             

Jacob was headed to a glue factory until a last minute Craigslist ad was answered and he was delivered to the farm instead. Jacob is in charge of the Loud Expressions at Inappropriate Times Department. He also includes appropriate braying in his repertoire, as a means to alert everyone within a 20-mile radius that an intruder has entered Freedom Farm Territory. Jacob has perfected his talent as an escape artist thanks to his star-crossed love, Jenny who lives across the street. Having been written up for this infraction several times, we have reassigned Jacob to the interior of the farmyard. When he is not escaping, he can often be found laying down on the job. His time with the team is used to aggravate and provoke Kingsley to join him in interminable chasing, and the aforementioned Extreme Equine Martial Artistry. Jacob can use his forelegs better than a kangaroo, and his biting ability exceeds even Kingsley’s prowess. He occasionally, puts this aptitude to work on the pigs, which causes strife in the farmyard, especially, with Tallulah. His unwelcome advances are disturbing, if not utterly confusing. He seems to have the impression she is a very short donkey who is pining for his love and affection. At the same time, he will allow no human more than a glancing touch of his curly coat. He is special.

      

Porky aka Porkster came to us looking for a new place to lay his large posterior permanently. He is head of our Cleaner Department, in charge of ensuring all remnants of dog food are removed from the parking area and placed into his belly. As well, he is well-versed at finding and rolling in any muddy spot available and at getting his large tusks caught in the fence. Through this, we have found his incredible talent to squeal like a pig goes above and beyond. Even more remarkable is his ability, immediately upon freedom, to promptly move a short distance over to get caught up again. It is an almost supernatural gift, to the point we think he may be an idiot savant, or idiot, anyway. Porky has a strong dislike for Farmer Wil, and men, in general. Self-assured and an unaware of his enormous weight and short stature, Porky is great at becoming puffy, grunty, and at charging full-speed ahead on his 4” long legs toward his intended target. He adores his “mom”, P.J. and loves the treats he gets from her. He also tolerates Hammy and can be found snuggling against him in extreme cold conditions. He pays very little to no attention to Tallulah unless she is eating. His ability to devour all food in his realm earned him his position and provides job security for life. He is large and in charge.

 

Hammy aka Hambone is Porky’s right-hand man. They came to the farm as a pair and wherever Porky goes, Hammy is right behind. Hammy isn’t as thorough as Porkster in his cleaning duties, but he excels at cute noises and at posing for the camera. Hammy is unique in that his tail was bitten off by one of his teammates, but no one will fess up and he’s not ratting them out. Loyalty seems to be a trait he holds dear. Hambone can elude a head-butting goat with the grace of a… well, pig. He can also form a mud hole in record time, while covering himself masterfully in mud to his ears. The smallest of the outdoor gang, Hammy lacks no confidence and is sure he is a valuable asset to the farm. He can play dead better than any possum, often creating a scare among the humans. Sleeping in the sun is a favorite pastime; especially, after a relaxing mud bath. Hammy is a happy boy who is always smiling and bringing a smile to all who meet him.

         

Tallulah aka Tutululu (Tutu for short) came to the team as a frail, thin, scared little girl but it didn’t take long for her to establish her place. She is now a robust member of the Cleaner Department; although, her pallet is a little more refined than her counterparts. Tallulah enjoys lounging under the farmyard shed where she is safe from donkey assault and goat but when she isn’t sleeping, she is performing her cleaning duties. Nary a pellet is left behind when Tutu is on the job. While she is a bit of a loner, she is a pig of many words. Her vocal expressions are quite useful in determining the state of the farmyard. A scream from Tallulah is not uncommon; especially, when she is in the process of eluding her common assailant, Jacob. Being an articulate pig makes her a bit higher maintenance than the boys, but her sweet demeanor and helpful hollers make her worth every bit of sweat and anxiety spent on her behalf.

 

Daisy Mae aka Mama is the longest-term resident in the farmyard. Daisy came to the farm as a baby with her two brothers, who are no longer on staff. She has given birth to four kids on the farm; although, only two remain, Cherise and Ramble. Daisy is an excellent mommy to her babies when they are little but proves to be rather nonchalant toward them as adult goats. Still, they roam the farm as a tiny herd and are the backbone of the Grass and Weed Management Team. Daisy can eat her weight in weeds and still want more when it’s time to come in for the night. She is notorious for eating most of the grain from the scoop before it hits the bucket and can clear a bucket of food in record time. Otherwise, Daisy is graceful and refined in her demeanor and is well respected in the yard.

Cherise, the first of the kids born on the farm, is probably our toughest team member on the grounds. Full of attitude, Cherise is a survivor. After a terrible fall causing near-fatal injuries, her resilience became evident as she fought for her life in conjunction with Farm Mom, P.J. After a long recovery, her spunk returned, and she resumed terrorizing the pigs during feeding time. She is an integral part of weed control, but never misses an opportunity to consume grain and treats. She enjoys sparring with her brother, Ramble and lounging in the sun when her belly is close to popping. A gorgeous girl, her spirit is delightful, and her durability is commendable. She is not a favorite in the farmyard, but her human mom loves her very much.

Ramble is a handsome young man who is quite the mama’s boy, both with his goat and human mom. One half of a set of twins born in the farmyard, Ramble was a great big brother to his little sister, Rose and was sad when she developed a lethal condition during a harsh winter on the farm. His happiness has returned though and he enjoys kicking up his heels, jumping around the bridge over the creek, and headbutting his older sister, Cherise. Ramble has a taste for succulents and must be watched like a hawk around the succulent growing grounds. He is carefree and doesn’t take his job seriously, but he is well loved on the farm and will be a part of the team for the rest of his life.